Ben Jonson's two poems, "On My First Daughter" and "On My First Son," deal with a child's death in two different ways. Comparing the two poems, it is interesting to note the difference in tone and emotion expressed though both are dealing with one father's loss of his child. "On My First Daughter," serves as an epitaph, a tombstone inscription. It identifies the child by name and age and includes a religious element by praying for the soul of the deceased and for its new heavenly home. "On My First Son," is not so much an epitaph as an elegy, a poem of lamentation. It expresses a stronger emotion of grief and regret than the first. As a result, the reader has a better feeling of a father's loss.

In the first poem, the words Jonson uses, such as safety, innocence, gift, comfort, heaven, gentle, lightly, are of a more neutral/positive tone. Though words such as ruth/rue, grave, and tears are present in the poem, they are overpowered by the presence of the neutral/positive words. This is in keeping with the neutral tone of epitaphs, which does not express intense remorse but merely a sense of loss. The emotion of the author conveys to the reader sadness yet acceptance or resolution. He grieves for his loss yet he is comforted by his Christian values. He accepts this loss as God's will; he is giving back to God what God gave to him. The remorse of a grieving father comes out more in the second poem. Words, such as sin, fate, lose, lament, envy, rage, misery, and never, bring out the negative tone of the poem.

The shift of emotions in the second poem is absent from the first. In the first poem, all the sentences are declarative. He is resolved to his daughter's death and her death is a fact he has to live with. In the second poem, he begins with the declarative, stating the facts of his son's death, then begins to question showing that he has not yet reached a resolution to the facts. The imperative at the end is not just a command to his son to rest in peace but also a command to himself to allow his son to rest in peace.

The difference in emotional tone can be seen in the two attitudes towards death. "Yet, all heaven's gifts being heaven's due," in contrast to "exacted by fate, on the just day," make the second poem more emotional. His daughter was a gift from heaven and so to heaven she must return. The word "exact" means to demand & enforce the payment of or to require or enforce the surrender of something. The father is not at peace with this "extortion" of his son, who fate demanded prematurely. The second poem is also more descriptive of the child, calling him, "right-hand", "joy", his best piece of poetry", "loved boy."

Looking at the content of the poem, two differences in the facts surrounding the poem can possibly account for the difference in tone and emotion. First, the age of the child at death, and second, the child's gender. Jonson's daughter, Mary, died at an early age, 6 months, while his son, Benjamin, lived till the age of seven. Having been a father to his son for a longer time, he had time to form hopes, set goals, and make memories. Additionally, the loss of the first born son meant the loss of one's heir. The biblical birthright comes to mind as well as the idea of inheritance and apprenticeship. The commercial register in the poem, with the words lent and pay, adds to this idea of the first born son as being the one to whom the family business is passed on to or the one who learns his father's trade. The mother is absent from the second poem, while she grieves for her daughter in the first poem. The mother-daughter connection is perhaps comparable to the apparent father-son bond. Perhaps, if Mrs. Ben Jonson had written "On My First Daughter", the emotional content would have been greater.